Thursday, August 30, 2007

Men, Love and Hair

Okay so I haven't posted in a few days and the ideas have been misseling through my brain at such a rapid pace, I can't seem to find the time to release them from the captivity of my mind. But I digress, today during my lunch break I stole away from the plantation and wandered over to Barnes and Noble. I strolled the aisles and ended up in the romance section where I came across this title "Nappily Married" by Trisha Thomas. My curiosity peaked, I slid the novel from the shelf and saw that one of my favorite authors Kimberly Lawson Roby had given it her stamp of approval, decided it wasworth the $13.95. Back at my desk I immediately began reading chapter 1. The story begins with the main character in "The Chair" at the salon demanding the stylist straighten her gorgeous mass of curls with.......dun dun dun dun a relaxer. I immediately got settled in my chair for an emotional, drama filled ride. OK thats all you get from me, you'll have to cop the book and read it for yourself. I read through the first two chapters, (didn't want Masa to catch me reading on the job :) and decided to pick it back up later. I want to savor the read instead of rushing through it and missing out on its lessons. The reason this book caught my attention is because it explores a natural sisters relationship with her husband. The predecessor to this is "Nappily Ever After" which I haven't read, so I'll have to grab a copy of that as well to get a complete view of the character and her life. Anyway when I did the "big chop" last year I didn't give much thought to it, I just told the stylist cut until you stop seeing straight ends. I didn't care what anyone else thought, and as I watched my curls blossom I began to realize men don't approach me anymore. They stare, they smile, but that's about it. Even guys I've dated in the past don't seem comfortable with my choice of freedom when they see me. One guy in particular, I told over the phone "I went natural and its is so pretty" but everytime he saw me I would have my hair straightened(with a ceramic iron of course), just recently he and I went out and I wore my curly fro. As I walked up to meet him I was checking his face for an indication of what he thought. He was speechless, which is really weird. I said to him "you like", his response as he inspected it from all angles a hesistant "Yeah". That was it. I couldn't help but get the feeling he liked it but didn't love it. Another guy friend came right out and said to me your hair is cool but you should perm it I liked it better that way. It resurrected the question in my head do men really like women with natural hair?You hear guys saying all the time I don't like weaves, and wigs I like natural real hair. Really? It almost seems like the natural is intimidating. I mean sure it takes a great deal of confidence to wear natural hair, its unique and unpredictable. Your hair never looks exactly the way it did yesterday and no other natural looks like yours. I've talked to some women who say my man didn't like it at first but he's fine with it now. Its a subject I'll probably never get any real understanding on but it's interesting never the less. So I pose these questions if you're a natural girl- Did you notice a difference in men's reactions to you? To the girls who are thinking about discovering your roots :)- Is attractability to men a concern of yours? To the guys that check out the site- Would you or have you dateed a woman with natural hair? Whats your take on this issue.

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